


First Draft

by sanctum_c



Series: Promise Week 2019 [7]
Category: Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997)
Genre: Cloud is bad at expressing himself in writing, F/M, Letters, Love Letters, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Pre-Canon, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:35:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27088717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanctum_c/pseuds/sanctum_c
Summary: Cloud struggles to write a letter home to Tifa while serving in the Shinra infantry.
Relationships: Tifa Lockhart/Cloud Strife
Series: Promise Week 2019 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1977151
Kudos: 5





	First Draft

**Author's Note:**

> Written along with other prompt fills for the relevant week to be about Cloud and Tifa as a couple but not actually feature the two of them together in the fic.

‘Dear Tifa. I-‘ Cloud scowled and crumpled the paper into a ball, regretting the hastiness. Nothing wrong as a start. No one had heard the crumpling paper right? He held his breath, sitting still. Silence. No sound from the main dorm and the slumbering members of the Shinra infantry. And here he was, up into the night-time hours trying to put his thoughts in order, locked in a toilet cubicle for safety.

Not as if no one else wrote home. But always brash; boastful letters to parents, girlfriends and boyfriends. They had achieved what they set out to do, pride in their placement and induction into the ranks. Some must be similar to Cloud, those who aimed at the glories of SOLDIER to learn they could not join yet, and find a lack of experience in critical areas made them less suitable than other candidates. A year or two in the infantry would see them in a far better state to reapply and succeed the recruitment drive.

The illusion of this alternate route did not survive contact with the reality of the infantry division. No sooner assigned to the division (Shinra more than grateful at his signed contract of five years of service – the minimum term they offered for the rank) and admitted his ambition he became disabused of the practicality. SOLDIERS recruits were never so short, never so scrawny. SOLDIER recruits already knew how to handle weaponry and had more experience than the periodic brawls Cloud engaged in prior to leaving Nibelheim. SOLDIER was a dream out of reach, an impossible ambition. Deserting was fines and imprisonment and bills sent home.

No way could he burden his mother. A vain hope perhaps he could make it. The other recruits who mocked his ambition, who had made it their business to know everything Cloud did and thus force his letter writing in the freezing cold toilet block of the Junon barracks; perhaps they did not know either. Perhaps they liked to see the weak struggle and squirm under their power. He would show them some day. There was no listed requisite height for SOLDIER. Sephiroth might tower 185 centimetres but could surely not be a strict requirement. Could it?

Impossible to tell. Nor could he yet be certain of how his contract with Shinra worked. Did it preclude him from applying to SOLDIER while he served it? Or if accepted did he have to work the rest of it before transferring into SOLDIER or would Shinra break the infantry contract to let him into the ranks?

Cloud shook his head. Distracted. Blank paper resting on his lap.

‘Dear Tifa,’

He winced. Should put the address first so she could write back. He snorted. As if she would. She wanted him to rescue her if she needed it – when he was a SOLDIER. A member of the infantry did not have the same romance and was assuredly not what he vowed to do before he left.

The lack of address might be better. He could not fulfil the promise as yet. So much he wanted to say on a certain night, so much he could not. Those feelings building and bubbling away under the surface for years. The words her request made him think she might share. Alas. Deep breath.

‘I hope you are well.’

Another wince. He resisted the urge to scrunch this attempt into a ball too. Get it all on paper first; he could rewrite it later. Cloud scribbled out the first line.

‘I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to write.’

Seemed okay.

‘I’m working on getting into SOLDIER’

Not an outright lie, but not the truth of the situation. Said truth of the situation unknown at present – and little idea of how to find out subtly.

‘so I can fulfil my promise to you’

It felt too blunt. But- This letter – or at least this version – would be one Tifa never read. The truth flowed.

‘You are always in my thoughts each day. I don’t know if I can fulfil my promise, I know what I said before, but its not like Shinra made out before. I’m not how I thought I was. I wanted to be strong, to be cool and admired. And if I was then you would notice me. You’d want to spend time with me. I love you, Tifa. I have as long as I can remember. I want to make sure that I could rescue you if you were ever in danger like after your mother died. I wanted to tell you how I feel. I wanted to propose. I wanted-‘

His pen stilled. How could he possibly write those words? Did she remember him at all at this point so far removed? Her memories of the cliffs were gone; who was to say she would think anything of him after she asked him for the promise? Other boys requested to see her before they left – some bragged about what she did on the occasion. That never seemed like Tifa. She never said or did anything like they implied. Did she ask them all to make the same promise or did they each get an individual one? How many of the children of Nibelheim loved Tifa Lockhart? And did she love any of them back?

Cloud crumpled up the paper ready to try again- A disturbance out in the dorm, the drill sergeant demanding every one get up. No time to pretend he was sleeping; paper shoved into a pocket and Cloud rushed into the dorm.

“There he is.” The drill sergeant was pointing at him, and behind him was- Was Sephiroth.

The man watched with cool, calculating eyes and nodded. “Make the arrangements.” He stalked away, another SOLDIER with black spiky hair left in his wake.

“Okay. You’re assigned to help the great Sephiroth. Stay sharp and you’ll be fine.” The SOLDIER glanced around. “Need another.” He gestured to another bed and gestured to the door. Cloud barely noticed who he selected. He was going on a mission with Sephiroth.

“Excuse me, sir?” The SOLDIER blinked at him.

“Sir?” The SOLDIER shook his head. “Don’t like that kind of thing. Call me Zack.”

“Zack-“ Head still reeling. The closest he ever gotten to a SOLDIER and about to spend time with Sephiroth in some capacity. His heard was about to explode. Could they help him at all? Could he prove his eligibility on this mission. “What is the mission we are being assigned to?” The other infantry man had struggled into his uniform. Lucis. Not one of the grunts Cloud was on friendly terms with, but certainly not one who seemed inclined to inflict suffering. Neutral.

“The glamorous job of Mako reactor maintenance.” Zack grinned, his teeth perfect. “But it comes with a bonus for you; we need to take a look at the first ever one. The one on Mount Nibel.”

Cloud’s stomach lurched. He was going home.


End file.
